Thursday, February 18, 2021

Is it I?




 Read: John 13-20; Sing: Not in Me

Todays focus is John 13. It was on all accounts a heavier read than usual for me this morning, mainly because it caused some very serious examination of my heart. This chapter, can at times, much like our advent reads become a chapter we are so familiar with we glance through it. "Oh yea, last supper, communion passage..." and we enter thinking we already know it. However, I am reminded constantly that the Word of God is living and active...sharper than any two edged sword.

While it could take a year to go through this chapter alone, I would like to examine 3 parts. 

The first is that Jesus, in His preparation to die, cares for those around him. In the notes of my study Bible it reads, " As Christ looked beyond the cross to the crown, which He was about to wear, so believers should look beyond earthly trials to the glory to be theirs at last." As I read Jesus model the perfect example of selfless love and submitting to the Father in the most dire of trials, I was hit square in the heart. How many times this year have I complained, or whined or thought only of myself because I bought into the lies of 2020. "This year sucks, the year everyone wants over, the year of unfairness....the year I realized and saw all of MY demands of those around me and how when I am not being served in the way I see fit...well then I just am not going, or participating and now am judging." How many times have grumbled rather than thanking the Lord for this gift and opportunity of trial to grow closer to Him? How many times have I stopped to ask, what can I do to be more like You? I was reading a post from a missionary with terminal cancer in his 30's and heard the passage of scripture he quoted repeated at church last night from Matthew 7:10-12, the Father gives good gifts. The missionary wrote, "my cancer is a fish!" The father does not give bad gifts. Have I called a snake that which the Father offered as a fish? I ask this because, this is now our second Lent season in Covid,and for many of us still some sort of restrictions. Have we become exhausted? Angry? Full of despair? Many of us had serious trials within the confines of 2020. Already isolated we have had to walk journeys that we felt no one could help bare. Has it shut us down? Or as Christ followers are we to serve one another in love ( I am stopping here because that is part 3.)

A thread that will continue through our study is the questions the disciples asked. They are years into walking with Jesus, seeing His miracles, hearing His teachings, and many still have questions. Questions aren't bad! Jesus patiently answers them. In chapter 14 alone we will look at 3 questions. But today- in 13, we will look at one.  John 13:25, "Lord, who is it?" John asks Jesus who would betray Him. They had no idea. They fellowshipping together had no idea which disciple was a traitor among them. Jesus, walked 3 years with the man who would sell his own soul for 30 pieces of silver. And when Jesus gave the answer, and even dipped the bread with Judas, saying out loud, "what you are going to do, do quickly." The disciples in the room still had no idea! It says in the passage, "now no one at the table knew why he said this to him." Judas was a good follower. He followed the rules, he followed Jesus place to place, he lived as a disciple. BUT, Christ was not his King. Jesus did not rule over Judas heart. And in the end, his love of money, would drive his betrayal. It struck me like a brick, that none of the disciples could figure out who it would be. In fact in other gospels we hear them say " Is it I Lord?" Even Judas, knowing would look at Jesus and ask, Is it I? I found myself thinking through this alot lately. in 2020 and now 2021, in the pandemic, in the politcal...was it I? Did I find more inherent value in things being offered by the world and did I deny my Savior on account of it? Did I find myself scared of death? To the point I became angry when others had different opinions  or diffierent conclusions of the sickness, did I start to hate them because I was afraid they might hurt me? Was it political? Was I willing to call fellow believers out as stupid or murderers or whatever you want to label whatever side it is you disagree with...all because I wanted my way? Was I willing to forsake the Cross and what Jesus had done for me, for us; because I felt ______. FIll in the blank. As we look at the Upper Room and as we sit at Jesus feet these next few weeks to learn from Him, I am so grateful His mercies are new every morning. If ever a year I felt inadequate to write this its this year. Yet, as the Pslamist writes, " though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand." Even yet today we can glorify God through answering honestly..."was it I?" 

Which brings us into part 3: that we can correct it by loving one another. "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Are we teaching the Gospel message through our love for one another as disciples. If I had to answer honestly, even for myself , the answer is often no. Social media makes it easy to form opinions about people, based off their posts. Or it makes it easy for us to be cowardly brave and confront things we shouldn't, or feel justified in speaking out...often. Or... just spouting and scrolling mindlessly and wasting about the brief vapor of life we have been given. I have really been wrestling through this. I do not want to waste my life. I do not want to waste my moments with my children or my spouse, or the time at hime. Yet I do. I could have become a prayer warrior this year.... yet I found myself distracted in all the "time" I was given. Especially convicting was a conversation I had with an older woman at our church. She can't attend and hasn't since shut down... her attitude broke me. " I use it to pray!" I pray for my children, I pray for our pastors, I pray through our directory over and over." She told me she was grateful for this time to be able to pray. :::Insert humblepie here:::Woah, I had turned into a bag of complaints and she had turned into a fountain of praise. Covid has made most of us me centered. Repent of it. Stop demanding and insisiting that everyone do things the way you want them done. And seek the Lord, asking how can I serve others in love that the world made know  I am His? Jesus gave us the bar, " Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another." He demonstrated it, and then as we will read, knowing we can't do it on our own merrit, sent the Holy Spirit, the Helper to give us the strength we do not have to love as Christ loved.

I love that Easter is in the spring. It comes at the time when darkness is fading into life. Sweet friend, may today be each of our newness. May we love one another as Christ has loved us; and may we too journey with our eyes on the Eternal Crown.


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